So to make it more organized I’m dividing this journey to success into the three phases that are outlined in the P90X instruction manual or whatever. Each phase is four weeks, with the third phase having an extra fifth recovery week to end the program. That’s 13 weeks in total. I’d LIKE TO THINK I can update this every day but expectation is like my kryptonite.

Oh yeah and for those familiar with P90X I’m going with the Classic routine. For those who don’t know me and are wondering where I’m starting off from, allow me. I’m a medium-sized South Asian male with an average build and enjoy long walks on the beach. I generally stay away from fast food and soft drinks, but God knows how much oil is in whatever my mom makes. If someone needs help lifting something heavy, they usually ask a few other people before asking me with a sympathetic face, which I hope doesn’t change after this program.

I’ll be sharing my body monitoring results once a week to eliminate any varying results due to diet. I take the measurements in the morning after waking up, which is when it gives the most accurate results. If you’re not sure what visceral fat or resting metabolism is, Google’s your friend. I was trying to figure out a way to easily show how I felt after every workout and came up with NOPIFLPITF, which is just an easy-to-remember acronym for number-of-people-I-feel-like-punching-in-the-face. Higher the number, worse the workout, easy enough. Here are my results to begin with:

• Weight: 158.0
  
• Body Fat %: 26.4
• Visceral Fat Level: 7
• Skeletal Muscle %: 35.8%
  
• Resting Metabolism: 1649 kcal
  
• Body Mass Index: 24.2

Hokai!

WEEK 1: LOL HERE WE GO

Day 1: Chest & Back, Ab Ripper X
Maybe it’s because I’m Pakistani. Much like our cricket team, when faced with a challenge, I prefer to make it more difficult upon myself by doing something completely illogical and force people to question my desire to actually succeed. Having McDonalds didn’t seem like a good idea at 3am, and it doesn’t seem like a good idea now. I started the workouts okay until I felt like throwing up about 20 minutes in. I felt dizzy and as if someone just punched me in the stomach, so I stopped. The one good thing about this program is that I’ll be drinking tons of water, since I finished my 1L bottle in the first 15 minutes. Anyway, I’m feeling a bit uncoordinated and distraught right now, and am gonna go for jummah and think about my future in this program. I’ll finish the second half of the workout and Ab Ripper X later tonight. That’s allowed right? Day 1 = 24 hours as far as I’m concerned, so I will take my time, and anyone who disagrees can just.. I dunno, not talk to me. NOPIFLPITF: 14. Today was terrible.

P.S. Anyone who says your life flashes before your eyes before you’re about to die is a stupid liar.

Day 2: Plyometrics a.k.a. WTF
Had a bit of a flu so I took a break, and I wasn’t exactly dying to get back into it either, but after a pep talk I decided to be a man and do the right thing. It started off okay (DOESN’T IT ALWAYS), and then disaster at around the 20 minute mark when that familiar feeling of throwing up came back. That is one tough workout! I’ll try to complete the rest tomorrow morning because I think my late night timing was probably a bad idea too. I DO feel good now though, but after stopping the workout I’d say my NOPIFLPITF was at around 9. It’s not too bad because it’s cardio and the sweat kinda vindicates that you’re not wasting your time. This is also apparently the “mother of all P90X workouts” so I don’t feel like such a loser.

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